Aisha Rafea

A Word by Be Yourself Programs Designer

Aisha Rafea

My journey towards inner peace, liberation and happiness started in a moment which I cannot define its when or how. I only remember that it was a sun clear moment in which I discovered that I had a role in creating the overwhelming misery and pains I was suffering from. At that very moment I decided to take the responsibility for my own emotional life by consciously examining the roots of my thoughts, feelings, and decisions in life. I was ready then to explore the possible weaknesses or slips in my mental habits, the emotional patterns of my reactions and choices. How many were the fears that directed me!! How huge was the lack of self-confidence and the low self-esteem!! How many illusions were guiding me in the name of seeking happiness!!! How many were the destructive thoughts and emotions I was stuck in!!!

On Contemplating my own story and tens of human stories, I could roughly detect then some basic common four traps in which most humans fall in without even knowing that they are stuck therein:

1. Most of us do not give enough attention to the need to explore the emotions they experience nor to express them in healthy ways. We often live on auto pilot and rarely care to stop to observe, understand, and digest our reactions to daily stimulants. Accordingly, we do not distinguish between diverse kinds of our emotions or care for transforming what is harmful and keeping up what is healthy and nurturing. We seem like a person who walks in a place full of pollution; dust, microbes or other kinds of dirt, but they are completely heedless of what is going on, no matter how much they invade their bodies and make them absolutely uncomfortable. They just go on walking mechanically and having more and more of the dirt without bothering to think of how to get rid of it.

2. Many of us, while trying to realize what they long for, they put their focus on what they totally detest; while they look up for happiness they talk most about misery, while they aspire for abundance they talk about scarcity, and while they seek good health, they talk most about disease… etc. As such, we seem like being unconsciously trapped into a spider web made of destructive thoughts that attract their likes; all that we do not like.

3. Quite a majority of us practice a lot of unkindness to our own selves under the claim of self-discipline or adjustment. That is, when we notice any of our undesirable feelings or behaviors—which can be the products of the above-mentioned attitudes—we hurry to falling into new traps such as self-suppression, self-reproach, self-labelling, and shame. Such feelings normally lead us to treat ourselves with hidden hatred and cruelty.

4. Many of us fall in the trap of negative emotional dependence in their relationships with others or even with God Almighty. Negative emotional dependence points on one’s attitude to put on the shoulders of others the responsibility of their own happiness while we ourselves—again according to the above-mentioned attitudes—think and behave in ways that take us to the opposite direction of what we look up to. Accordingly, we cannot build up any healthy relationships since we do nothing but blaming ‘the other’ for being the reason of our unhappiness.

When I started my journey for healing, I could gradually and increasingly see layers and layers of the reasons behind my sufferings. It was not an easy or short cut path. I was many times vulnerable to falling anew in the traps of guilt, self-reproach, despair, doubt, shame of my blunders, and/or being stuck in a sense of victimization. I believe that it was the divine blessedness that I experienced in a turning point in my life that made me really convinced that no matter how many my pitfalls were, I accepted myself just as it was. In the very moment, I decided to move forward in my journey of transformation supported by an unshakable faith in the Divine’s support, forgiveness, and mercifulness.

It seems like when I was liberated myself from my own illusions, I also set many people free from the injustices I blamed them for. I became more capable of appreciating people just as they are, respect their being different from me, and also allowing myself to be who I am. Such attitude of acceptance was a key of liberation from what I came to realize as a very big destructive belief, which is judging anything as either absolutely right or absolutely wrong; a belief that triggers diverse conflicts in human relationships. I became to realize that there are versatile approaches to any subject or issue and that each person has the right to adhere to what they see as the truth for them. I became also sure that nobody has the right to claim that they own the absolute truth, or to label anyone else of being absolutely wrong.

I continued to shoulder my own self-responsibility even at the moments in which I felt the need for seeking guidance from the one whom I trust his knowledge, wisdom, and purity (my spiritual teacher). On asking for his guidance I was sure that I would receive a flow of his pure energy that would make me even more liberated and not restricted. His light supplies me with light, chasing away my possible darkness and allowing me to see more clearly. His love supports me without evacuating my right to go through my own experiences and make my decisions by myself. His wisdom inspires me without depriving me from having my own independent vision. His words enlighten my path so as to walk my journey; it is me who has to walk. His presence takes my hands to access my inner presence (the true me).

By practice, the methodology of always connecting myself to the true me has become more spontaneous. I have become faster and easier to notice thoughts or feelings that is haunting me from an inner space where fear, doubt, or conflict still reside. While being more conscious, I have also become more capable of acknowledging my limitations as a human being, forgive myself, connect to the energy of love within and around, so as to be liberated easily and identify with my innate wholeness letting it help me to gain harmony with myself and with all around me. Dwelling in the wholeness of the true me takes me to the flow of love and mercifulness of the higher Source; my Lord, the Light that resides in all pure hearts in the universe.

I do believe that each and every one of us can achieve genuine happiness in their life: if they choose; if they communicate with “The True ME” inside through appreciating their special qualities & God-given potentials & capabilities; being more kind to themselves; more understanding of their shortcomings & consciously transforming them into tools for their personal growth.”

Excerpts from  Be Yourself Be Happy, by Aisha Rafea

Devolopment By Ranin Saad